Rock Bummers: Robert Plant, Death Magnetic, Slash N' Axl?

Every week has its disappointing news, just as every Snoop dog has its day (yeah, that line makes little sense). Here are this week’s top rock and roll bummers and how we make ourselves feel better about each one.

1. Robert Plant crushes Led Zeppelin tour rumors

Seriously, a Led Zeppelin reunion tour would not be right for our pockets at the moment — while facing the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, how is a $200.00 concert ticket going to make any sense to a rational consumer? Yes, rock and roll addicts can make rational economic decisions too. [article].

2. Fans (and the album’s engineer) complain about the mixing of Death Magnetic

Please, just stop the complaining you whiners. Metallica’s Death Magnetic has an old school feel that almost all contemporary rock records lack. I don’t care about all of the Pro Tools magic and new recording gear — if an album lacks the raw rock attitude, then it is a failure no matter how well it is mixed [article].

3. Slash still can’t stand Axl

In an interview, Slash dismissed a fan poll that voted Axl Rose to be the new Velvet Revolver singer. Will you both please get over yourselves already. Especially now, since you need each other more than ever. I am willing to mediate and even serve as the band psychiatrist at a reduced rate — less than what Metallica was paying that dude with the lame Cosby sweater in Some Kind of Monster [article].

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