Monthly Archives: October 2011

Top 10 Primus Songs of All Time

Primus is an American hard alternative band from California that has been active since the early 1990s.  Their unique sound comes from the genius bass work of frontman Les Claypool, who also has a twisted talent of writing some of the whackiest lyrical concepts of all time.  Primus recently released Green Naughahyde last month, however the band’s best work was produced in the 1990s.  Here are the Top 10 Primus songs for your sucking pleasure:

1.  “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver” Tales From The Punchbowl (1995)

2.  “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” Sailing The Seas of Cheese (1991)

3.  “My Name Is Mud” Pork Soda (1993)

4.  “Tommy The Cat” Sailing The Seas of Cheese (1991)

5.  “Those Damned Blue-Collared Tweakers” Sailing The Seas of Cheese (1991)

6.  “Too Many Puppies” Frizzle Fry (1990)

7.  “Here Come The Bastards”  Sailing The Seas of Cheese (1991)

8.  “John The Fisherman” Frizzle Fry (1990)

9.  “Pudding Time” Frizzle Fry (1990)

10.  “Shake Hands With Beef” Brown Album (1997)

Top 10 Primus Songs on YouTube

Review: “Lulu” Featuring Lou Reed & Metallica [2011]

Lulu is the brand new psychotic, experimental, and deeply disturbing new side project from heavy metal legends Metallica and Velvet Underground frontman, Lou Reed.  And for some reason, the whole thing works; well, sort of.  Lulu is a two-disc enterprise that is based on two plays written by German playwright Frank Wedekind.

The songs on Lulu feature Lou Reed orating dark poetic verses over clean Metallica guitars (“Brandenburg Gate) or heavy thrash riffs (“Mistress Dread”).  At some point on the tracks, Metallica singer James Hetfield chimes in with an aggressive refrain on the songs’ heaviest parts (“The View”).

Some songs are flat out ridiculous and irritating.  On “Pumping Blood,” Reed sings “Pumping Blood…Pumping Blood…Pumping Blood” over a heavy stomp march riff.  “Cheat On Me” is an 11-minute epic that takes about 9 minutes to kick in.  On this one, Reed and Hetfield ask the question, “Why do I cheat on me?” over and over again.


Metallica’s music on Lulu can best be compared to their Load and Reload sound; this was probably done because it best accommodates Reed’s vocal style.

Metallica fans will most likely despise this record due to Reed’s vocals.  His monotone narrations make Bob Dylan sound like Freddie Mercury.  This will be very difficult for metal fans to get passed.  However, when Hetfield chimes in, everything usually seems to be all right, well at least momentarily.

In terms of Lulu’s listenability, it outranks St. Anger by a mile, but falls far short of Reload.  This is a 3-star album that is worth checking out but it will take time to grow on fans of both artists.

Lulu on Amazon

Top 20 Greatest Guitarists of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal of All Time

Here is a list of the greatest rock guitarists of all time.  A prerequisite for making this list is that the guitarist must have played for an awesome band.  For example: Joe Satriani is a sick guitarist that produced virtuosic guitar albums; however Chickenfoot is not that awesome.  Same type of thinking goes with Steve Vai; Vai’s best work was not with David Lee Roth.

The guitarists listed below are an invaluable resource to their respective bands and have inspired millions of people worldwide to pick up a guitar for the first time.

Here are the Top 20 Guitarists of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal:

1.  Jimmy Paige (Led Zeppelin)

2.  Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen)

3.  Randy Rhoads (Ozzy Osbourne)

4.  John Petrucci (Dream Theater)

5.  Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)

6.  Dimebag Darrell (Pantera)

7.  Angus Young (AC/DC)

8.  Ritchie Blackmore (Deep Purple/Rainbow)

9.  Paul Gilbert (Mr. Big)

10.  Kirk Hammett (Metallica)

11.  Brian May (Queen)

12.  Joe Perry (Aerosmith)

13.  Slash (Guns N’ Roses/Velvet Revolver)

14.  Kerry King/Jeff Hanneman (Slayer)

15.  Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society/Ozzy Osbourne)

16.  George Lynch (Dokken)

17.  Dave Murray/Adrian Smith (Iron Maiden)

18.  Synyster Gates (Avenged Sevenfold)

19.  Ted Nugent (Ted Nugent)

20.  Jerry Cantrell (Alice In Chains)

Top 10 Sepultura Songs of All Time

Sepultura is a doom and thrash metal band from Brazil that has been active since the late 1980s.  Frontman Max Cavalera left the band after 1996’s Roots and created another sick—equally awesome—band Soulfly.  Sepultura continues to march on without him, but let’s face it, Sepultura was at their best with Max;  although, Derrick Green is a badass vocalist.  Here are the ten greatest Sepultura songs that feature Max Cavalera on vocals, Adreas Kisser on guitars, and Paulo Jr. on bass, and Igor Cavalera on drums:

1.  “Roots Bloody Roots” Roots (1996)

2.  “Territory” Chaos A.D. (1993)

3.  “Refuse/Resist” Chaos A.D. (1993)

4.  “Dead Embryonic Cells” Arise (1991)

5.  “Attitude” Roots (1996)

6.  “Arise” Arise (1991)

7.  “Ratamahatta” Roots (1996)

8.  “Inner Self” Beneath The Remains (1989)

9.  “Slave New World” Chaos A.D. (1993)

10.  “Troops of Doom” Schizoophrenia (1987)

Here is a link to the Top 10 Sepultura Songs of All Time Playlist on YouTube

Top 10 Machine Head Songs of All Time

Machine Head is an American thrash and groove metal band from California that has been active since the early 1990s.  This is the only band that is successfully carrying the Pantera torch—sorry, no other band comes close these days.  Rob Flynn is an extremely brutal vocalist and guitarist, yet you can still understand what he is singing and playing.  Machine Head recently released Unto the Locust which is an excellent followup to their recharging The Blackening record.  Here are the Top 10 greatest Machine Head Songs:

 

1.  “Davidian” Burn My Eyes (1994)

2.  “Halo” The Blackening (2007)

3.  “Ten Ton Hammer” The More Things Change… (1997)

4.  “Beautiful Mourning” The Blackening (2007)

5.  “Imperium” Through The Ashes of Empires (2004)

6.  “Old” Burn My Eyes (1994)

7.  “Locust” Unto The Locust (2011)

8.  “Aesthetics of Hate” The Blackening (2007)

9.  “Take My Scars” The More Things Change… (1997)

10.  “The Blood, The Sweat, The Tears” The Burning Red (1999)

Here is a link to the Top 10 Machine Head Songs of All Time playlist on YouTube

Top 10 Queen Songs of All Time

Queen is a sick classic hard rock band from England that blew up the world in the 1970s and 1980s.  There may not be a frontman in the history of rock and roll with the vocal talent and range of the late Freddie Mercury.  Here are the ten best Queen tracks of all time featuring Mercury on vocals, Brian May on guitar, John Deacon on bass, and Roger Taylor on drums:

1.  “Bohemian Rhapsody” A Night at the Opera (1975)

2.  “Tie Your Mother Down” A Day at the Races (1976)

3.  “Fat Bottomed Girls” Jazz (1978)

4.  “Stone Cold Crazy” Sheer Heart Attack (1974)

5.  “We Are the Champions/We Will Rock You” News of the World (1977)

6.  “Under Pressure” featuring David Bowie Hot Space (1981) 

7.  “Another One Bites the Dust” The Game (1979)

8.  “Killer Queen” Sheer Heart Attack (1974)

9.  “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” The Game (1979)

10.  “I Want it All” The Miracle (1989)

By the way, “Ogre Battle” from Queen II is one of the heaviest songs you will ever hear in your life.  People often forget just how metal this band was in the 70s; it’s really a shame that new music can’t be this amazing.

Top 10 Queen songs on YouTube

Top 10 Alice Cooper Songs of All Time

Alice Cooper is an American hard rock legend that has been active since the late 1960’s.  He is the originator of hard and heavy shock rock.  Known for his big theatrical stage shows, Cooper would gain notoriety for playing with giant snakes and chopping his head off with a guillotine.  Yes, he is just that awesome.  Here are ten great Alice Cooper tracks from his catalog that spans nearly five decades:

1.  “School’s Out” School’s Out (1972)

2.  “No More Mr. Nice Guy” Billion Dollar Babies (1973)

3.  “Only Women Bleed” Welcome to My Nightmare (1975)

4.  “Billion Dollar Babies” Billion Dollar Babies (1973)

5.  “I’m Eighteen” Love it to Death (1970)

6.  “Welcome to My Nightmare” Welcome to My Nightmare (1975)

7.  “Under My Wheels” Killer (1971)

8.  “Elected” Billion Dollar Babies (1973)

9.  “Poison” Trash (1989)

10.  “Feed My Frankenstein” Hey Stoopid (1992)

Top 10 Guns N’ Roses Songs of All Time

Guns N’ Roses is an American hard rock band from Hollywood that was the largest band on earth in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s.  This band had the potential to be the all-time greatest act of hard rock, but then blew it by splitting up in the mid-90’s.  The original GN’R lineup was the best featuring Axl Rose on vocals, Slash on lead guitar, Izzy Stradlin on rhythm guitar, Duff McKagan on bass, and Steven Adler on drums.  Guns N’ Roses still exists, however in extremely limited form; Axl is the only remaining original member.  Slash and McKagan still rock hard together in Velvet Revolver, but even they are struggling to find an awesome new vocalist.  GN’R is now eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Shame and recently received a nomination.  In closing, a true GN’R reunion should be these guys’ number one priority; they need it, the world needs it!  Here are ten great tracks from GN’R:

1.  “Sweet Child o’ Mine” Appetite for Destruction (1987)

2.  “Welcome to the Jungle” Appetite for Destruction (1987)

3.  “November Rain” Use Your Illusion I (1991)

4.  “Mr. Brownstone” Appetite for Destruction (1987)

5.  “Paradise City” Appetite for Destruction (1987)

6.  “Civil War” Use Your Illusion II (1991)

7.  “Patience” G N’ R Lies (1988)

8.  “Don’t Cry” Use Your Illusion I (1991)

9.  “It’s So Easy” Appetite for Destruction (1987)

10.  “You Could Be Mine” Use Your Illusion II (1991)

For the record, there was one decent track on 2008’s Chinese Democracy: “Street of Dreams.”

Profile of Jennifer “That Metal Show” Miss Box of Junk

Saturday night metalheads are very familiar with Jennifer Leah Gottlieb aka “Miss Box of Junk” from VH1’s That Metal Show.   Jennifer has been a key member of the show since the Season 4 premiere on Feb. 6, 2010.

Jennifer replaced Keri Leigh Tucker, the original “Miss Box of Junk” that passed away in 2009.  Four season later, Gottlieb has proven to be a vital part of the show and gets to interact more often with the hosts Eddie Trunk, Jim Florentine, and Don Jamieson—particularly since the That Metal Show moved to the one-hour format.


Here is a little background and some key links to browse all things related to Jennifer “Miss Box of Junk”:

Jennifer Leah Gottlieb played the part of Linda in the Broadway touring version of The Wedding Singer.  Check out the video, she is actually rather talented:

Here is her professional profile that includes her “details” on Model Mayhem.

She has an official site which says she does personal trainer work too!

Jennifer tweets.  Did you know she is in love with Brian Johnson?  (Yeah I know, who isn’t?)

You can like Jennifer Leah Gottlieb on FaceBook.  There, you can even “like her” liking her Slayer t-shirt.

And be sure to check out these professional shots of jennifer by David Teng.

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As of December 2012, Jennifer Leah Gottlieb does not have her own Wikipedia page. WTF?

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Did you know? Jennifer sells her That Metal Show clothing on eBay. You can purchase her custom cut-up t-shirts worn by Ms. Gottlieb during the actual program. Here is a recent example of an Aerosmith shirt that sold for $60.00.

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The Gears of Rock would like to thank Ms. Gottlieb for linking to us on her official Facebook page in 2012.

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Update: For those of you looking for nude pictures of Jennifer Leah Gottlieb, you are out of luck. According to her Model Mayhem profile, Jennifer Leah Gottlieb naked shots are out of the question as she does not participate in nude photo shoots.

Top 10 Aerosmith Songs of All Time

Aerosmith is a legendary hard rock band from Boston that has been active since the early 1970s.  The “Toxic Twins,” Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, have proven to be a very effective partnership for four decades.  Aerosmith’s best material was written in the 70’s and their concert setlists today definitely reflect that.  Aerosmith is Tyler on vocals, Perry on lead guitar, Brad Whitford on rhythm guitar, Tom Hamilton on bass, and Joey Kramer on drums.  Here are 10 of the greatest songs from one of America’s best hard rock bands of all time:

1.  “Dream On” Aerosmith (1973)

2.  “Sweet Emotion” Toys in the Attic (1975)

3.  “Mama Kin” Aerosmith (1973)

4.  “Walk This Way” Toys in the Attic (1975)

5.  “Back in the Saddle” Rocks (1976)

6.  “Toys in the Attic” Toys in the Attic (1975)

7.  “Same Old Song and Dance” Get Your Wings (1974)

8.  “Chip Away The Stone” Live! Bootleg (1978)

9.  “Seasons of Wither” Get Your Wings (1974)

10.  “Rats in the Cellar” Rocks (1976)