Monthly Archives: December 2011

Santa’s Top 5 Heavy Metal Bands of All Time

As you are well aware, it is the most wonderful time of the year.  Time for holiday preparation and celebration.  Also, to reflect on the year’s greatest bands, albums, songs, and shows.  But, have you ever stopped to think of what jolly old Saint Nick’s personal favorites are?  Here is a list of the Top 10 Metal Bands of the man, the legend, Santa Claus:

#1.  Twisted Sister – Santa just loves the timeless holiday masterpiece, A Twisted Christmas.

#2.  Motorhead – Santa can’t live without Lemmy’s “Run Rudolph Run.” He said it gets him through the year’s final night of delivering holiday cheer.

#3.  Heaven and Hell – Ronnie James Dio and Tony Iommi serve up a wicked version of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.”

#4.  Testament – Because Chuck Billy delivers the sickest vocal performance ever on “Silent Night.”

#5.  Alice Cooper – S-A-N-T-A-C-L-A-W-S is coming to your town!

On a side note, Santa’s least favorite metal band is Faster Pussycat.  He just can’t stand their rendition of “Silent Night” on Monster Ballads X-Mas; it ruins the album.

Top 10 Tool Songs of All Time

Tool is an American hard rock band from California that has been active since 1990. The band features Maynard James Keenan on vocals, Adam Jones on guitar, Justin Chancellor on bass, and Danny Carey on drums.  Here are the ten greatest Tool songs of all time:

1.  “Eulogy”

2.  “Sober”

3.  “46 & 2”

4.  “Stinkfist”

5.  “Schism”

6.  “AEnema”

7.  “Vicarious”

8.  “Jambi”

9.  “Parabola”

10.  “The Pot”

Top 10 Black Sabbath Cover Songs of All Time

The greatest heavy metal band in the history of heavy metal is Black Sabbath and there is simply no disputing that.  Sabbath are the godfathers of heavy metal and hail from Birmingham, England.  They began their conquest of the universe in 1968 and have influenced every real rock n roll band that you hear today.  In my opinion, they are more important than Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple combined.  The classic lineup is preparing for a new album and world tour featuring Ozzy Osbourne on vocals, Tony Iommi on guitar, Geezer Butler on bass, and Bill Ward on drums.  Sabbath invented literally every single riff you hear in hard rock today.  Here are the ten best cover versions of Black Sabbath songs by other heavy metal legends:

#1.  “Paranoid” Megadeth

#2.  “Children of the Grave” White Zombie

#3.  “Symptom of the Universe” Sepultura

#4.  “Hole in the Sky” Pantera

#5.  “War Pigs” Faith No More

#6.  “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” Anthrax

#7.  “Black Sabbath” Type-o-Negative

#8.  “Sabra Cadabra” Metallica

#9.  “N.I.B.” Primus Feat. Ozzy Osbourne

#10.  “After Forever” Biohazard

Honorable Mentions: “Hand of Doom” Slayer, “Lord of this World” Corrosion of Conformity (COC)

Top 100 Hard Rock And Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time (Complete Countdown)

Dear Justin Bieber’s Biggest Fan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

Insincerely Yours,

The Management

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here is the complete countdown of the Top 100 Vocalists of All Time:

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#100  Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed)

#99  Al Jourgensen (Ministry)

#98  Chris Barnes (Cannibal Corpse)

#97  Michael Kiske (Helloween)

#96  Jens Kidman (Meshuggah)

#95  Tim Williams (Vision of Disorder)  

#94  Lou Koller (Sick of it All)

#93  Mille Petrozza (Kreator)

#92  David Wayne (Metal Church)

#91  Mike Muir (Suicidal Tendencies/Cyco Miko)

#90  Cronos (Venom)

#89  Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth)

#88  Evan Seinfeld (Biohazard)

#87  Till Lindemann (Rammstein)

#86  Brent Hinds/Troy Sanders (Mastodon)

#85  Oderus Urungus (GWAR)

#84  Paul Baloff (Exodus)

#83  Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)

#82  Les Claypool (Primus)

#81  M. Shadows (Avenged Sevenfold)

#80  Lita Ford (Lita Ford)

#79  Corey Glover (Living Colour)

#78  Randy Blythe (Lamb of God)

#77  John Garcia (Kyuss)

#76  Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against The Machine)

#75  Jeff Scott Soto (Yngwie Malmsteen)

#74  Doug (dUg) Pinnick (King’s X) 

#73  Eric Martin (Mr. Big)

#72  Geoff Tate (Queensrÿche)

#71  Tim “Ripper” Owens (Iced Earth/Charred Walls of the Damned)

#70  Gary Cherone (Extreme)

#69  Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

#68  Josh Homme (Queens of the Stoneage/Them Crooked Vultures)

#67  Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity)

#66  Keith Caputo (Life of Agony)

#65  Jani Lane (Warrant)

#64  Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust)

#63  Max Cavalera (Sepultura/Soulfy)

#62  David Coverdale (Whitesnake)

#61  Serj Tankian (System of a Down)

#60  Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi)

#59  Chino Moreno (Deftones)

#58  Biff Byford (Saxon)

#57  Jonathan Davis (Korn)

#56  Burton C. Bell (Fear Factory)

#55  Eric Clapton (Cream)

#54  John Bush (Armored Saint/Anthrax)

#53  Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters)

#52  Phil Mogg (UFO)

#51  Phil Anselmo (Pantera/Down)

#50  Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots)

#49  Blackie Lawless (W.A.S.P.)

#48  Gene Simmons (Kiss)

#47  Bobby Blitz Ellsworth (Overkill)

#46  Glen Danzig (The Misfits/Danzig)

#45  Maynard James Keenan (Tool)

#44  Stephen Pearcy (Ratt)

#43  Chuck Billy (Testament)

#42  Marilyn Manson (Marilyn Manson)

#41  Rob Flynn (Machine Head)

#40  Udo Dirkschneider (Accept)

#39  Joe Lynn Turner (Rainbow/Yngwie Malmsteen)

#38  Kevin DuBrow (Quiet Riot)

#37  Rob Zombie (White Zombie)

#36  Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)

#35  Tom Araya (Slayer)

#34  Ted Nugent (Ted Nugent)

#33  Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle/Fantomas)

#32  Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead)

#31  Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave)

#30  Vince Neil (Motley Crue)

#29  Peter Steele (Type-o-Negative)

#28  Bret Michaels (Poison)

#27  Jeff Keith (Tesla)

#26  Dee Snider (Twisted Sister)

#25  David Lee Roth (Van Halen)

#24  James LaBrie (Dream Theater)

#23  Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy)

#22  Ian Gillan (Deep Purple)

#21  King Diamond (Mercyful Fate)

#20  Geddy Lee (Rush)

#19  Layne Staley  (Alice In Chains)

#18  Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)

#17  Klaus Meine (Scorpions)

#16  Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)

#15  Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper)

#14  Joe Elliott (Def Leppard)

#13  Joey Belladonna (Anthrax)

#12  Sammy Hagar (Sammy Hagar/Van Halen)

#11  Paul Stanley (Kiss)

#10  Ronnie James Dio (Elf/Rainbow/Black Sabbath)

#9  Brian Johnson (AC/DC)

#8  Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

#7  James Hetfield (Metallica)

#6  Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

#5  Rob Halford (Judas Priest)

#4  Freddie Mercury (Queen)

#3  Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)

#2  Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)

#1  Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne)

Top 100 Hard Rock And Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time (10-1)

Dear Barry Manilow superfan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

Insincerely Yours,

The Management

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #10-1:

____________________

#10  Ronnie James Dio (Elf/Rainbow/Black Sabbath)

#9  Brian Johnson (AC/DC)

#8  Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

#7  James Hetfield (Metallica)

#6  Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

#5  Rob Halford (Judas Priest)

#4  Freddie Mercury (Queen)

#3  Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)

#2  Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)

#1  Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne)

Top 100 Hard Rock And Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time (20-11)

Dear World’s Largest Liza Minelli Fan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

Insincerely Yours,

The Management

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #20-11:

____________________

#20  Geddy Lee (Rush)

#19  Layne Staley  (Alice In Chains)

#18  Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)

#17  Klaus Meine (Scorpions)

#16  Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)

#15  Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper)

#14  Joe Elliott (Def Leppard)

#13  Joey Belladonna (Anthrax)

#12  Sammy Hagar (Sammy Hagar/Van Halen)

#11  Paul Stanley (Kiss)