Gears of Rock

Dear Justin Bieber’s Biggest Fan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here is the complete countdown of the Top 100 Vocalists of All Time:

____________________

#100  Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed)

#99  Al Jourgensen (Ministry)

#98  Chris Barnes (Cannibal Corpse)

#97  Michael Kiske (Helloween)

#96  Jens Kidman (Meshuggah)

#95  Tim Williams (Vision of Disorder)  

#94  Lou Koller (Sick of it All)

#93  Mille Petrozza (Kreator)

#92  David Wayne (Metal Church)

#91  Mike Muir (Suicidal Tendencies/Cyco Miko)

#90  Cronos (Venom)

#89  Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth)

#88  Evan Seinfeld (Biohazard)

#87  Till Lindemann (Rammstein)

#86  Brent Hinds/Troy Sanders (Mastodon)

#85  Oderus Urungus (GWAR)

#84  Paul Baloff (Exodus)

#83  Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)

#82  Les Claypool (Primus)

#81  M. Shadows (Avenged Sevenfold)

#80  Lita Ford (Lita Ford)

#79  Corey Glover (Living Colour)

#78  Randy Blythe (Lamb of God)

#77  John Garcia (Kyuss)

#76  Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against The Machine)

#75  Jeff Scott Soto (Yngwie Malmsteen)

#74  Doug (dUg) Pinnick (King’s X) 

#73  Eric Martin (Mr. Big)

#72  Geoff Tate (Queensrÿche)

#71  Tim “Ripper” Owens (Iced Earth/Charred Walls of the Damned)

#70  Gary Cherone (Extreme)

#69  Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

#68  Josh Homme (Queens of the Stoneage/Them Crooked Vultures)

#67  Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity)

#66  Keith Caputo (Life of Agony)

#65  Jani Lane (Warrant)

#64  Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust)

#63  Max Cavalera (Sepultura/Soulfy)

#62  David Coverdale (Whitesnake)

#61  Serj Tankian (System of a Down)

#60  Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi)

#59  Chino Moreno (Deftones)

#58  Biff Byford (Saxon)

#57  Jonathan Davis (Korn)

#56  Burton C. Bell (Fear Factory)

#55  Eric Clapton (Cream)

#54  John Bush (Armored Saint/Anthrax)

#53  Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters)

#52  Phil Mogg (UFO)

#51  Phil Anselmo (Pantera/Down)

#50  Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots)

#49  Blackie Lawless (W.A.S.P.)

#48  Gene Simmons (Kiss)

#47  Bobby Blitz Ellsworth (Overkill)

#46  Glen Danzig (The Misfits/Danzig)

#45  Maynard James Keenan (Tool)

#44  Stephen Pearcy (Ratt)

#43  Chuck Billy (Testament)

#42  Marilyn Manson (Marilyn Manson)

#41  Rob Flynn (Machine Head)

#40  Udo Dirkschneider (Accept)

#39  Joe Lynn Turner (Rainbow/Yngwie Malmsteen)

#38  Kevin DuBrow (Quiet Riot)

#37  Rob Zombie (White Zombie)

#36  Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)

#35  Tom Araya (Slayer)

#34  Ted Nugent (Ted Nugent)

#33  Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle/Fantomas)

#32  Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead)

#31  Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave)

#30  Vince Neil (Motley Crue)

#29  Peter Steele (Type-o-Negative)

#28  Bret Michaels (Poison)

#27  Jeff Keith (Tesla)

#26  Dee Snider (Twisted Sister)

#25  David Lee Roth (Van Halen)

#24  James LaBrie (Dream Theater)

#23  Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy)

#22  Ian Gillan (Deep Purple)

#21  King Diamond (Mercyful Fate)

#20  Geddy Lee (Rush)

#19  Layne Staley  (Alice In Chains)

#18  Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)

#17  Klaus Meine (Scorpions)

#16  Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)

#15  Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper)

#14  Joe Elliott (Def Leppard)

#13  Joey Belladonna (Anthrax)

#12  Sammy Hagar (Sammy Hagar/Van Halen)

#11  Paul Stanley (Kiss)

#10  Ronnie James Dio (Elf/Rainbow/Black Sabbath)

#9  Brian Johnson (AC/DC)

#8  Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

#7  James Hetfield (Metallica)

#6  Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

#5  Rob Halford (Judas Priest)

#4  Freddie Mercury (Queen)

#3  Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)

#2  Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)

#1  Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne)

Dear Barry Manilow superfan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #10-1:

____________________

#10  Ronnie James Dio (Elf/Rainbow/Black Sabbath)

#9  Brian Johnson (AC/DC)

#8  Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

#7  James Hetfield (Metallica)

#6  Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

#5  Rob Halford (Judas Priest)

#4  Freddie Mercury (Queen)

#3  Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)

#2  Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)

#1  Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne)

Dear World’s Largest Liza Minelli Fan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #20-11:

____________________

#20  Geddy Lee (Rush)

#19  Layne Staley  (Alice In Chains)

#18  Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)

#17  Klaus Meine (Scorpions)

#16  Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)

#15  Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper)

#14  Joe Elliott (Def Leppard)

#13  Joey Belladonna (Anthrax)

#12  Sammy Hagar (Sammy Hagar/Van Halen)

#11  Paul Stanley (Kiss)

Dear Closet Cher Impersonator,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #30-21:

____________________

#30  Vince Neil (Motley Crue)

#29  Peter Steele (Type-o-Negative)

#28  Bret Michaels (Poison)

#27  Jeff Keith (Tesla)

#26  Dee Snider (Twisted Sister)

#25  David Lee Roth (Van Halen)

#24  James LaBrie (Dream Theater)

#23  Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy)

#22  Ian Gillan (Deep Purple)

#21  King Diamond (Mercyful Fate)

Dear Abba lunchbox owner,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #40-31:

____________________

#40  Udo Dirkschneider (Accept)

#39  Joe Lynn Turner (Rainbow/Yngwie Malmsteen)

#38  Kevin DuBrow (Quiet Riot)

#37  Rob Zombie (White Zombie)

#36  Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)

#35  Tom Araya (Slayer)

#34  Ted Nugent (Ted Nugent)

#33  Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle/Fantomas)

#32  Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead)

#31  Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave)

Dear Spice Girl freak,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #50-41:

____________________

#50  Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots)

#49  Blackie Lawless (W.A.S.P.)

#48  Gene Simmons (Kiss)

#47  Bobby Blitz Ellsworth (Overkill)

#46  Glen Danzig (The Misfits/Danzig)

#45  Maynard James Keenan (Tool)

#44  Stephen Pearcy (Ratt)

#43  Chuck Billy (Testament)

#42  Marilyn Manson (Marilyn Manson)

#41  Rob Flynn (Machine Head)

Dear Cher admirer,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #60-51:

____________________

#60  Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi)

#59  Chino Moreno (Deftones)

#58  Biff Byford (Saxon)

#57  Jonathan Davis (Korn)

#56  Burton C. Bell (Fear Factory)

#55  Eric Clapton (Cream)

#54  John Bush (Armored Saint/Anthrax)

#53  Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters)

#52  Phil Mogg (UFO)

#51  Phil Anselmo (Pantera/Down)

Dear Bette Midler Superfan,

I would like to personally welcome you to the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Hard Rock and Heavy Metal Vocalists of All Time Official Countdown.  I’d also like to extend a hearty congratulations to you for stumbling upon this life-altering/shattering experience.  You see, over the last 5 years I have spent very little time and effort polling the little demonic unicorns living inside my fat hairy skull.  In the end, another imperfect list came to fruition.  We can only hope that you despise it.

P.S. Remember, these rankings represent the greatest vocalists ever that have performed in hard rock and heavy metal bands.  These rankings take into account the performer’s vocal ability as well as on stage showmanship.  Please feel free to customarily projectile vomit blood and bile all over these rankings at your own leisure.  Without further ado, here are #70-61:

____________________

#70  Gary Cherone (Extreme)

#69  Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

#68  Josh Homme (Queens of the Stoneage/Them Crooked Vultures)

#67  Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity)

#66  Keith Caputo (Life of Agony)

#65  Jani Lane (Warrant)

#64  Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust)

#63  Max Cavalera (Sepultura/Soulfy)

#62  David Coverdale (Whitesnake)

#61  Serj Tankian (System of a Down)